I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
