who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
