tell your sister to shave her snatch
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
