i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
