I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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