i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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