dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
