Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
