My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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