Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
