This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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