i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
