Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
