Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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