woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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