Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
