hotel room ftw
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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