I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
