So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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