return my video game
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize