you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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