so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize