nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
