Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
