I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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