I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We're too hungover to prance.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
