My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
