you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
