This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
