How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
