I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
