On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You ruined the universe
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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