I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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