it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
