You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
