I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
