any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
