Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
