im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
