Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
it's like iHOP with fire
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
