Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We don't watch enough power rangers
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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