Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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