When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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