dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Randomize
