Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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