Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize