yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
