he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize