you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
