hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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