Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
