there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
