puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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