I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
