Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
