I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I supernannyed him into submission
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
