I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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