Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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