He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
