its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
