Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
