Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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