pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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