He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
