Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
