my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
